Mortician Madness

mortician

All the Halloween fuss and bother of the last few days transported me back to a previous life in which I was a nurse.  In 1976 I was at a hospital much in need of repair to the fabric of the buildings.  So, what possible relevance can that simple fact have to the story, you’d be forgiven for asking?  Between the ground and lower ground floors was a narrow staircase, accessed through a windowless door and which had about 30 steps, bound on each side by solid walls.  At the bottom, there was another solid door before moving into what was essentially the basement.  The staircase was [...] Read more »

Fang Trim, Anyone?

Cathy vampire

My life has been interesting, exciting and sometimes devastating but never in all the experiences I’ve shared around the globe have I ever been involved in fang trimming, until now.  Oh yes, FangsRus is up an running.  Personally, I have no direct link to a coven – oh, that’s witches, isn’t it? – but can now honestly add ‘vampire’s assistant’ to my CV.  Scary, huh?  Thankfully, I don’t have dentures either but realise vampires have similar problems with retention!  How so?  Well, it’s Haloween and vampires are out and about.  Not quite the same with a missing fang, is it?  The fangs [...] Read more »

Silver Seduction In The Shelter Of Love . . .

Hey, I know I've been away for a while but I'm back now with something truly heartwarming to share with you.  Early yesterday morning I was taking daughter to school (she STILL hasn't put in for her test, even though instructor says she's peaked and now developing the bad habits of the newly passed!) when we stopped at a T- junction.  On the opposite side of the road was a grass verge and hedge and, set slightly stage right, was a dirty glass bus shelter.  Nothing new there then, you may have decided.  What happened next will take your breath away, [...] Read more »

Paul And The Puddings!

 Tomorrow, I'll be firmly under this man's gaze from 9am – 6pm and am feeling a little buzz of excitement about it.  Have been in dialogue with Paul's man-on-the-ground, Matthew, and picked up all sorts of background info.  (I know I said 'man' but, in reality, Matthew sounded about 12!)  I've also spoken to Vicky in the entourage, who seems to be in a permanent start of delirious happiness . . . is this the 'Paul effect', or is it a case that half the dose would do?  Sorry, that sounded SO uncharitable, I expect she's just a 'glass three-quarters full' kind [...] Read more »

Mathematical Mayhem at Number 9!

A disaster has struck the daughter.  Pencil case has been 'misplaced', I prefer to call it stolen, nicked, pilfered, lifted – need I go on?  (I suppose I have done already, sorry!) Not a calamity of the first order you may well be secretly thinking, unless, of course, your have your AS level maths exam tomorrow and no equipment.  At my very best in 'emergencies' I felt something 'kick start' inside.   Recognise it as my 'I won't be beaten' mode and begin an inventory of missing goods . . .  Read more »

It’s Outrageous – A Girl Should Be Given Notice . . .

I SO Wasn't Looking My Best When It Happened . . . It was a funny day today, usual routine upended.  Daughter on study leave so no school run.  OK, I was at my PC in my PJs but just intended to check my emails and then go for a shower.  You know how it is, one thing leads to another and didn't hit the bathroom until 10.30am.  (Please don't 'tut', I know, I know!)  Instead of the usual 7am shower, hair wash, dressed, quick blast with the hairdrier and away, came down dressed – thank the Lord – but [...] Read more »

Immortalised!

Sorry, the Dobbin thing is dragging on a bit, isn't it.  Will try to be succinct.  Day Two at The High Chaparral again began with vacuum extraction of daughter from pit.  Husband took her on his cross country route then went to work.  Jubilant call to tell me how much quicker it was.  Enters into long string of directions.  Mentally shut down as know I'm in a motorway mood today.  But this is what you've been waiting for . . . the arrival of Immortalised in his air conditioned horse Hilton.  No clattering old box trailing straw for this lad, [...] Read more »

One Face Fits All!

The words "I know you" have followed me through life.  The first instance of mistaken recognition took place at Heathrow Airport when I was travelling alone to Dusseldorf in Germany.  I tell you I was travelling alone because I was just eight years old!  Let me explain.  I was at school in the UK and my parents were stationed in Germany.  Ladies from SSAFA (the Soldiers, Sailors and Air Force Association) used to meet military orphans off the train and take them as far as the boarding gate at the airport.  (Grandad used to do it but he'd been promoted to [...] Read more »

Marigolds and Mesh!

I'm back . . . but did you notice I'd gone, dear reader?  (I won't flatter myself by going plural here!)  Yes, I was going to Alaska for two weeks last August but I've been away six months!  Well, not away, actually, but seriously indisposed.  However, all is now well!   "Okayyyyy, so where have you been, Janet?",  I hear you chorus in the recesses of my imagination.  Well Alaska was wonderful but more about that later.  Truth is, I had another encounter with Miss Rodd's 'Marigolds'! Read more »

Darling Darren and the Fractured Pipe

I was rushing around this morning trying to achieve as much as possible by lunchtime when the unexpected happened.  Having been a Brownie in another century, I decided I could cope, no, would cope!  You see, the brakes failed on my trusty steed.  Not her fault, apparently.  Thankfully, had just delivered daughter to animal sanctuary for the day and was on the way home.  Lots of roundabouts to negotiate.  Sinking feeling as foot hit the floor and almost nothing happened.  Luckily didn’t hit anything else.  Limped to Darling Darren.  Imagine my relief when I saw he was there, under a [...] Read more »