Hormone Extravaganza!

Bet you thought I was going to speak of ‘Women of a Certain Age’, did you not?  You know the stuff, body part migration, night sweats, negative nuances . . .

Feet8 Oh no, hormones in our house have produced feet the size of skis.  Think I’m joking?  It’s the school holidays and 14-year-old son has had friends over.  Daughter has been visited by 16-year-old admirers.  Little me (and it’s not very often I can say that!) at 5′ 7" (1.70m for you metrics), I am dwarfed by gigantic boys whom it seems were waist high just months ago . . .

Shoes lined up in the hallway look like skis.  I stare at them (the shoes, actually, but often accused of staring by daughter!) in complete wonderment.  How can anyone have feet that big?  At just 14, some of these lads are well over 6 feet in height.

But, in my ‘teenager toolbox’ is a great leveller.  One of the lads was being a tad ‘chopsy’ the other day until I reminded him I used to change his nappy!  Oh boy, that settled him pronto!  Won’t remind him that I also used to throw him over my shoulder in a fireman’s lift and pretend to deposit him in the wheelie bin . . . better let that one lie in the annals of history, in case he chooses to return the favour.  Frighteningly, he could!  A strapping 6′ 2" at age 14!

Took son for new school shoes last week.  He picked up a pair of size 11s.  Enormous!  Thought he was messing about.  He slipped his dainty left foot into what, to me, looked like a leather packing case and experienced a real Cinders glass slipper moment.  In disbelief, I heard myself say "Move your toes", as one would to a three-year-old!  Heavens, it fitted with only millimetres to spare.  I looked up at him (yes, he has overtaken me now) in disbelief.  Should we cut back on the vitamins?  Eat only organic meat for fear of additional hormones?

Now then, any mother of young boys should know this fact.  Prepare yourself, you may feel more comfortable reclining in a darkened room . . .  here it comes!

At the age of 14 testosterone levels in teenage boys increase by 800%!  Yes, you heard it here.

So whether they are stroppy, grunting like a Neanderthal, strutting around like a turkey cock or locking horns with their father, you’ll know why!  But, for me, all that is forgiven the moment I am embraced in one of those warm and cosy bear hugs* I’m lucky enough to receive, very often accompanied by an "I love you, Mum".  And, know what ?  It doesn’t matter that his size 11s sometimes step on my size 5s at these moments.  It must be difficult learning how and where to park such peripherals!

* Never in front of ‘the mates’ unless in exceptional circumstances!

No related posts.

Please Leave A Comment...