Paul And The Puddings!

Images  Tomorrow, I'll be firmly under this man's gaze from 9am – 6pm and am feeling a little buzz of excitement about it.  Have been in dialogue with Paul's man-on-the-ground, Matthew, and picked up all sorts of background info.  (I know I said 'man' but, in reality, Matthew sounded about 12!)  I've also spoken to Vicky in the entourage, who seems to be in a permanent start of delirious happiness . . . is this the 'Paul effect', or is it a case that half the dose would do?  Sorry, that sounded SO uncharitable, I expect she's just a 'glass three-quarters full' kind of girl.  In a nothing ventured, nothing gained moment, I've done something with which daughter is seriously unimpressed . . .

Late yesterday afternoon took daughter to hairdressers, followed by dinner out.  As she was tucking into her Mediterranean pasta (she's veggie), I announced that not only was I going to spend the day Heimlich with The Man, but also had established the email address of his PA and sent him a letter.  Believe me, we were seconds away from the Heimlich Manoeuvre as shock collided with pasta somewhere in the area of daughter's trachea.  Decided faint heart never won personal treatment, so offered myself as a guinea pig . . . or is that pig? . . . should one be required.  It was the bit where I said "I might make myself a badge saying "I sent the email" that caused the implosion.  As Loved One returned to a state of full oxygenation, she managed to utter "You would, too, wouldn't you?"  Well, yes, but not on this occasion, Oh Dearest One!

So, what's been occurin', you may be wondering?  Well, a couple of weeks ago during a bedroom sorting session I unearthed a copy of Paul McKenna's "I Can Make You Thin!".  Flicked through and noticed a telephone number at the back which I decided to ring.  (As I've had the book a while, thought the number was probably defunct.)  Step forward the aforementioned Matthew.  He told me that Paul lives in LA these days and doesn't run many courses over here anymore.  Synchronicity was at work because the only course this year is tomorrow, 6 June.  However, didn't book then as wanted to consult friend.  Book Em Danno Friend thought this wasn't one of my better ideas and declined my kind invitation.  Wasn't motivated to do anything.  Now know this means 'do nothing', so I didn't.   A few days ago, the boy Matthew rang again to see if I wanted to go.  Since our first call I had been randomly channel hopping (which I never usually do) and saw P Mc conducting a seminar on this very topic.  Was the Universe trying to tell me something?  I spoke to him – OK, gave him a good grilling, extracting as many facts as I decently could – and Mat then announced the price was less than 50%.  "Book 'Em, Danno", I said which will be lost on anyone who hasn't seen Hawii-5-O. 

Rang another friend and said "We're going to Wembley", at which point she feared the worst.  Actually, when I explained, she was rather pleased.  She asked if lunch was included.  Now, here's my problem.  How does one enquire if lunch is provided when attending a weight loss type event?  Matthew was theBuffet man.  Oh dear, heard myself saying, "My friend asked a question which is a little sensitive given the nature of the event".  Felt just a tad transparent as Mat replied, "No, lunch isn't included!"  Was left wondering how many times he'd been asked that question.  Friend said she'd take her cool box but thought she'd better not sit troughing pork pies.  Decided we could make a killing selling fresh fruit salad.  Asked why she didn't go the whole hog (not pun intended) and take a folding table upon which she could display a full buffet through which she could nibble as the day progressed.  (Did run this suggestion past daughter who by this time was looking at me in horror.)

Call me Haven't heard from Paul.  I expect he's saving contact for the big moment when he asks me to identify myself (which wouldn't be necessary if I made the badge).  Anyway, all those privvy to this insider information have been making the usual "He'll turn you into a chicken" type stuff – so boring.  I'll let you know how I react next time I'm in the Sage & Onion aisle in Sainsbury's! 

In the meantime, I'm off to prepare a packed lunch, then to rest in readiness for the early morning shock – I'll have to be up at 4.30am to make a silk purse from this sow's ear, pick up my passenger and be at Wembley by 8am when the doors open.  Want a front-ish seat, just in case . . .

No related posts.

Please Leave A Comment...