The Bucks Certainly Fizzed . . .

Fizz2 It was a gloriously hot Sunday lunchtime and the workers had been labouring in the fields . . . OK, perhaps I’ve embellished the image just a tad . . . brother and son had been hacking back overgrown hedges in the garden.

Having been out of action for a couple of days (son cooked a delicious spaghetti bolognaise on Saturday night (so glad he tackled it in ‘Food Tech’ at school . . . didn’t that used to be called cookery?)), decided I’d raise my game and cook a Sunday roast – but it wasn’t game!  Ha, ha – I know they say one shouldn’t laugh at one’s own jokes . . .

Also, decided we’d dine in the garden, under the shade of the ivy and honeysuckle covered pergola.  Husband despatched to wash down table as he was on light duties due to what I think is a twisted muscle in his back and he thinks is a case of multiple slipped discs, at the very least. 

(I did take pity on him as he lay on his back on the bed that morning, dressed but for his socks,  looking like an up-ended beetle.  I enquired whether this was a new kind of therapy or whether he was, in fact, in difficulty.)  Difficulty bending therefore improvising to put on socks.  For a moment I was transported back 13 years to when I last had someone lying on their back awaiting socks but had the distinct feeling that, on this occasion, I’d been forced to ‘go large’!  Talk about giving an inch . . . applied socks (good job I used to be a nurse!) then had a request for trainers!  In true subservient fashion (those who know me well will probably take issue with this!), I applied trainers to feet.  Good Lord, now I know from where son’s ‘plates of meat’ issue.  It’s so cute to put on baby shoes, teeny trainers or little padded shoes.  Why, then, do I not feel the same way about a man’s size 10.5 in our ‘go large’ society.  Hmmmmmm, note to self:  Do not, under any circumstances, re-train as a chiropodist. 

Anyway, journey to the ‘big fridge’ (as opposed to under-worktop fridge in kitchen) which is near the garage, looking for something cool to serve with lunch.  My eyes scan the bottles of wine chilling there, together with soft drinks, and I spy a large bottle of Buck’s Fizz which was given to me a while ago.  Yep, that’d be most welcome.  (OK, perhaps I’m a few hours late but I wasn’t around at breakfast!)  Lovingly remove BF from shelf and anticpate the orangey-freshness soon to be enjoyed.

Meal served, we all sit outside and the bottle is opened.  There is a little orange sediment in the bottom.  Son suggests I tip it upside down, which I GENTLY do.  Suddenly, we’re transported to the Formular One Podium.  I have hand over end of bottle but still my precious, cooling BF explodes past the obstacle and saturates teenagers sitting to my right.  Taken in good spirit.  Offer cloth to mop.  Told I’d probably done enough already . . . Whoops!  Didn’t have chance to ask if cooling shower enhanced the pleasure of the delicious lunch!

You may think that was the end of the back and buck’s problem.  Not so.  Mid-afternoon, husband decides to go shopping.  (Think it’s something to do with scarcity as a child.)  However, due to multiple slipped discs, cannot possible push trolley.  Teenage daughter offers to assist – OK, came under pressure to assist.  Husband fretting the store may close.  He leaves garden to go to lower himself into car, thinking this may take some time.  Daughter disappears, assume to assist with folding of Father and pushing into car.  Nope.  Five minutes later he reappears, not happy!  Daughter not been seen.  Send him out to car again (recognise signs of potential second explosion) and go off in search of daughter.  Just rinsed her hair through, not easy as it’s almost waist length.  Upon questioning, reports that BF had caused hair to dry into hard and tangled mess and was therefore a target for passing insects of prey.  What?  Bees and wasps to you and I.  Send her out to the car (which I’m sure by now has been mentally transformed into an ambulance by husband with multiple slipped discs) and decide to reject next bottle of Buck’s Fizz offered.  But, then again, next time I just might not share it! 

Perhaps there was some strange planetary activity yesterday, which brought the BF and multiple slipped discs together in this chaotic way . . .

   

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